DO as I SAY, NOT as I DO

Have you heard the saying “Do as I say, not as I do.”?  Have you scolded your children for not making their beds or cleaning their room, but open your bedroom door and it is a total disaster area?  I know I have.  I am guilty of the “Do what I say, not as I do” phrase.  How do I expect my children to keep their rooms clean when I am leading them by a bad example?  This holds true for any negative example; cussing, smoking, drinking in front of your kids.  “Well mom and dad do it, so it must not be that bad.” What about when you make an important rule, then make exceptions to that rule the next day … how CONFUSING that must be for your child.  I am pretty sure mine stay confused because I lack consistency.   Where I am consistent with love and affection, I fail in leading and guiding.

Consistency is defined as … unchanging in achievement or effect over a “period” of time.  Hallelujah, as parents, we have time to redeem our failures from not only leading and guiding our children but our personal/working relationships as a whole.  Redirection takes time … new “positive correction” habits take at least 22 days to form and take hold.  But thank GOD we can correct our mistakes.  Also remember consistency does not happen overnight, so drop that expectation now. 

Did you know that consistency establishes your REPUTATION? (Good blow to the parental ego). Wonder why your child disregards what you ask of them to do or not to do?  Lack of consistency on rules, on consequences of actions, on punishment, on warnings of punishment (that is why they buck the system).  If we lack in these area as parents, no wonder why our kids look at us with blank stares and confused facial expression.  If I were them listening to me, I would be clueless.  God says “Sparing the Rod, Spoils the Child,” this is 150% percent accurate.  When I was a child, I KNEW what was expected and could guarantee the punishment was the same each time I made a mistake.  No talking myself out of it, no whining or crying because the punishment got worse.  My mother was CONSISTENT, she never faltered, she never caved in, and taught us one of the most important lesson in life, RESPECT. 

Our children need us to be consistent so they believe what we say.  So they can truly trust us in that we say no to things for their protection.  Let’s eliminate unnecessary confusion and provide them with clear direction.  NO means NO.  Establish rules with firm consequences for breaking them.  No exceptions, no freebie card (get out of jail free passes, lol).  Rebuilding consistency takes time … but your children will thank you for it later on in life, trust in that.

Lord, please let us parents take the time to guide our children by consistency.  Let us be strong, stand firm, and lead them by being a great example.  Help us to create a peaceful home without confusion.  Please let us set aside anger and frustration as we guide our children into a new better way of life.  ~ Amen.